William W. Lee, Ed.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

HOW TO GET THE MOST OUT OF

COUNSELING

Whether you are new to counseling, or have prior experience in counseling these are tips designed to help you get the maximum benefit from your counseling experience:

1.    Expect gradual improvement. Do not carry over your expectations of a "quick cure" from visits to your physician. Problems in living do not disappear quickly like infections responding to antibiotics.

2.     Prior to each session write down specific concerns or issues which you wish to discuss. This will help you be more specific.

3.    You and the therapist should discuss and agree on the goals of treatment, including the specific concerns, issues, feelings, thoughts or behaviors that become the focus of treatment.

4.    Avoid going "underground" with your thoughts and feelings. Use your counseling experience to risk expressing your innermost thoughts and feelings. Ask your therapist for feedback in order to help organize your experiences.

5.    Ask permission to audiotape your sessions if you so desire. A tape recording allows you to review important points and discover anything you missed during the session.

6.    Ask questions and openly disagree with your therapist. An important part of counseling is the open and honest expression of negative feelings and thoughts. Difficulty in doing so may reflect important personal concerns which need to be discussed.

7.     Work hard on personal issues outside of counseling. Some therapists assign "homework" as a way of extending the work of counseling into your daily life. Experiment with different ways of thinking, feeling, and acting. Performance of "homework" is highly correlated with success.

8.    Realize that more desirable behaviors are "phoney" or "unnatural". Practice is required to make your new ways of acting or reacting more "natural".

9.    Keep a list of your positive efforts made between counseling sessions. Bring your list to each session. Recognition and reinforcement are powerful motivators.

10.    If you are dissatisfied with your treatment, discuss your feelings openly with your therapist and ask for feedback. Competent therapist recognize that they serve the needs of some better than others.

11.    When you think it is time to quit counseling, discuss this with your therapist and ask for feedback. there is a great difference between "feeling better" and "getting better". Getting better means that you have changed old ways of thinking, feeling, and acting - representing lasting changes!

12.    If you terminate counseling due to disappointment, try another therapist.